The Indianapolis Colts QB Audition!!

Jesus Martinez || Main Columnist

Hey there QBs, do you like getting sacked 10 times a game?

Do you like getting hit 30 times a game??

Do you want to play with 5 traffic cones protecting you??

If so, come on down!! Here at the Indianapolis Colts, we never have healthy Quarterbacks... so you'll get immediate playing time in an offensive scheme so complex even Aaron Rodgers would look like a bust! Get to work with an offensive line that works similar to Obama's immigration policy, "let everybody go through!" Play with a 33 year old running back that running on life support, and a receiving core that is decent at best. Of course the league has shifted to receiving Tight Ends, so of course we only get the cream of the crop for our QB. So who better than Jack Doyle than to play beside you, catching TD passes from your arm! Of course none of this won't matter, because you will get immediately sacked as soon as you call hike.

Work with out terrible head coach, who doesn't know the difference between playing the Rams and the 49ers until the media points it out after you got blown out 56-3... Play with a coaches that think they'll still have jobs at the end of the season. Work with an offensive coordinator who is qualified for his position, but won't ever get the opportunity to do much else. Play with a defensive coordinator that sends his unit out to play the worst football seen until you go watch that NFL team in North Ohio. Yes, we are talking about you Cleveland. Do all this while earning the respect of your drunk owner, Jim Irsay. With the minimal information you'll learn from Pagano and Chudinski, you'll be expected to actually win games. How crazy does that sound??? Well, it doesn't, because if you don't perform up to the level of Tom Brady, you'll get foolishly cut, no matter what situations you may have. Just ask Stephen Morris.Don't worry though, you'll have great plays drawn up for you.

So what are your waiting for!?!? Is your brain made out of goo?

If it isn't, come to the Colts because after 3 quarters of playing you'll look like Eli Manning face after getting sacked, and have the brain of Brock Osweiler.

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!?

COME NOW!

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